Sleep!

Well, it's after 7am on Monday and although I didn't go to bed or get any sleep last night, I did finally get some sleep yesterday, from 5 to 10 Sunday morning....a good solid 5 hours of sleep, and I feel much better. I talked to someone at the psychiatric facility and they believed that I am okay enough to not need to be admitted at this time. I have a friend coming over this morning to work on some projects with me and take some pictures of Luke in his new mobility harness and provide me with some company while I attempt to get some housework done.
Tuesday, another friend is coming over to go through my old clothes and hang out, and I also have my Therapy appointment with my new therapist, Donna, who is aware that I have been struggling lately, tormented by suicidal ideation and severe depression. But today, I feel much better!

Wednesday I have DBT class, and I have some homework to finish up for that. Thursday I will go to the Self Esteem class, and pick up where we left off last week, where we discussed ABC, (A=activating event, or trigger, B=Beliefs or automatic thoughts, and C=consequences)....Recognizing that certain events or triggers lead to automatic thoughts or beliefs that are often erroneous, often not founded in reality or truth, but just ingrained thoughts and beliefs (about myself) that lead to a consequence, usually of feeling worse about myself, feeling worthless, hopeless, unlovable, etc. I think the trick is to learn to recognize these automatic thoughts and try to change them into more positive, realistic beliefs, so that the cycle of beliefs and consequences to more beliefs and more consequences can lead to a better comprehension of how to deal with the activating event, or trigger. These beliefs or automatic thoughts that I have immediately following a triggering event are mostly unconscious thoughts, misconceptions, exaggerations, and self-deprecating myths that lead to bad feelings.

Friday, I go to my general practioner and will discuss my sleep problems as well as my pain medication management. It will be a busy week for Luke and I, and I am trying to spend some time each day clicker training Luke for obedience and some new tasks. Hopefully, professional training will resume soon, as I'd like to get him to pass his AKC Canine Good Citizen evaluation, and ADI's Public Access Test as well as specific task training and mobility work, and transition from a service dog in training to a full fledged service dog within a few months. He does well with the basic outings we do each week, but he is still uneasy in certain crowds or environments, and I want to expose him to more venues to desensitize him to these situations, so he is comfortable everywhere, no matter what is going on. We have been going to a casino with friends lately, and he is learning to deal with the sounds and movements of the crowds without too much stress. I try to keep our outings under two hours each time, and that seems to be about the right amount of time to expect him to work in public at this time. He really enjoys going in the car, and our visits to the store or my regular appointments and classes, but I want to attempt the city bus again, and some more lively events in town and continue to build his confidence. The medical alerts he's been doing at home have been right on, and he responds appropriately to my episodes. He is always close to me, and very tuned in to me all the time. He has gotten to where he doesn't ask to go out except once in the morning and once before bedtime, and other than a little game of fetch with his ball or a little tug of war, he doesn't demand much play time either. He mostly spends his time lying down next to me at the computer or my recliner, watching me, and checking in with me often. I am very pleased with his intuition and responsiveness. That is something that just developed. I didn't train that. Just spending every minute of every day with me has created that close bond. Now we just need to polish up on advanced obedience and service dog tasks, and hope he has a long, healthy working career with me.

Thanks for reading our blog. Comments are welcome.
Amy & Luke