Today, Luke and I went to our weekly DBT class, and were introduced to some more Qigong and yoga. I have also found an online yoga challenge site with meditation and yoga challenges, and the ability to track your success, and receive daily newsletters by email.
I need to learn how to put myself into a relaxed state of mind, especially when challenged about my Service Dog. I'm not talking about public access issues, I have had mostly positive experiences with businesses. It's the people that question me, interrogate, or harass me that distresses me.
Right now, I am doing a fund raiser to get the mobility harness custom made from Bold Lead Designs. I have talked to Katrina Boldry, who hand makes them, and I am convinced that I will be happy with their products and customer service. But fund raising, and doing a raffle, although somewhat successful, has opened me up to more inquisitions from people about why I have a Service Dog, why I need this specially made harness, and why doesn't the "school" he came from, provide the equipment I need. First of all, Luke didn't come from a "school", he is considered owner trained, with the help of professional trainers, and various obedience classes we've attended since he was a puppy. For Medical alert, and specifically Psychiatric Service, getting a dog as a puppy provides a distinct advantage, as the bonding period, about 4 months old, is not missed as would happen with dogs that grow up with "puppy raisers" before they go to school for Service Dog training, around 18 months to 2 years old.
Luke has learned on his own, through our close bond and being together 24/7, to alert and respond to incipient episodes that may come on suddenly, due to my PTSD, Bipolar, Agoraphobia, Borderline Personality Disorder, Major Depression, General Anxiety disorder, etc, and is just now beginning to learn "Brace" to assist me with balance, provide mobility support, pulling up hills and stairs, and will learn to "step" one step at a time, while I lean on him going down stairs or steep walk ways. I am hoping my trainer, Patti Reed, of Whitehall, Montana, can help me teach these tasks to Luke, now that he's full grown and can now bear some weight on him, as well as learning the "retrieve" with the help of a training DVD from Leerberg.com, called "Training the Retrieve, with Mike Ellis", so that I can have Luke pick things up I have dropped, help me in the grocery store, and retrieve medication, phone, and other items to reduce my vulnerability of falling over or over taxing myself, especially with the side effects of the 15 different medications I take daily.
Speaking of medication, I am delighted to say that FINALLY, after a strongly worded letter from my Psych Doctor to my insurance company, I have again been approved to take Provigil, which helps with narcolepsy, excessive daytime sleepiness, and sleep disturbances caused by my sleep apnea. I have had great difficulty getting to sleep at night, and staying awake during the day. I finally got off of some of the medication that caused so much weight gain, and I have lost 90 pounds in two years. My doctor agrees with me that I shouldn't be put back on those medications that caused the weight gain, just so that I can get some sleep. On zyprexa and high doses of Seroquel and Haldol, I was like a zombie, flat and unresponsive, neither high nor low, just apathetic. It was awful and I feel much better today. We just have to find out what to do so that I can sleep at night. I am back on Prozac instead of Cymbalta, and my depression seems better. I am also taking Ritalin during the day to make me feel like I can get through the day without a nap, or falling asleep unexpectedly.
My time with Luke is very therapeutic. We do everything together, and he is always by my side. Since I haven't been sleeping, I let him stick to his regular sleeping habits and he goes to the crate on his own between 10 and 11pm. When I finally go to bed, which is often when Captain K is getting ready to go to work at Butte Glass Shop, Luke comes to bed with me, and I find that I do sleep better with him there with me. When I have a nightmare, he automatically checks on me, and when asked, will lay partly across my chest, and I will focus on my breathing and my heart rate, and I am able to use his weight and his breathing and heart rate to guide me back to a state of restfullness. Also, I am taking Prazosin for nightmares, and that seems to be helping, but it does cause dizziness, especially if I rise from bed or a chair too quickly. Having Luke there to lean on during those times helps. He is just now learning the word, "Brace", where he stands cross ways in front of me and locks his knees and provides me with a solid support to steady myself. He needs work on applying the brace work on stairs. He tends to want to watch me, so he jumps ahead of me and turns around and walks up the stairs backwards, keeping an eye on me as I go up each step. I want him to get in a heel position and step with me, one step at a time, in pace with me, allowing me to lean on him for support as I take each step individually at my own speed. I do better going up stairs than I do going down. Going up stairs, the harness I'm getting has a leather pull strap that Luke can learn to help with momentum getting up, but I am slow going down stairs since my knees are weak, and I am unsteady, needing to take each step slowly, with both feet on each step before I take the next step down. Luke needs to learn how to do this for me, in his new mobility harness. We'll go to the Silver House or the Court House to practice stairs.
I am writing this blog in lieu of doing daily diary cards for DBT. I need to track my daily use of DBT skills and mindfulness, recording what works and what doesn't work during times of distress. The module we are in now is Distress Tolerance, which I am learning a lot, through practising controlled breathing exercises, mindfulness, distracting myself, and self soothing. I use the computer and television a lot for distraction, but I've noticed when I'm out, doing the fund raiser, and out in public, I need to apply what I've learned about breathing deeply, relaxing, and monitoring my mood. There are many times I find myself just wanting to escape the environment entirely, needing Luke to guide me back to the car, my "safe spot', in order to function normally again. Being out on the town has been a positive thing is some ways, allowing me some positive social experiences with supportive people, but has also been very distressing, when confronted by someone that is dubious and less than sympathetic about my disabilities and need of a Service Dog. Luke has picked up on some of my nervousness, and has not been overly social while we've been out. He looks around a lot, and appears to be always looking for the way out of wherever we are. When I sit down to talk to someone, have a drink, or play a machine in the casino, he seems to relax, and stays in a down position right next to my feet. But, entering unknown places, my tension travels down the leash, and Luke appears nervous. I'm hoping more exposure to more places and venues, will teach him to enter places with more confidence and ease. He is used to the regular places I go, to the Doctor, to classes, to the grocery store, to the pharmacy, and my regular errands, and he does quite well during those outings.
Whenever Luke gets nervous, I feel self conscious, and I feel more nervous, and he picks up on that from me, and it becomes a vicious cycle. I am the one that needs to learn how to relax, and teach Luke to relax, so that he can then be a source of relaxation for me, whenever I need it. We both need more confidence, more practice in public places, and more communication that is productive during times of distress. At home, there's never a problem. I am usually always calm at home, and Luke is calm, and he is there for me in a positive way for comfort and support. There have been a few times that I had an emotional breakdown at home, and Luke responded effectively, trying to get me to play with him, licking my tears, distracting me, allowing for physical contact, deep pressure therapy, and a source of comfort, providing me with the ability to focus on him, his breathing, his heart rate, the senses of touch and smell to remind me to use my DBT skills to return to a state of well being. We are both learning right now, and I am looking forward to the training coming up Wednesday, September 5th, our first of three levels of C.L.A.S.S. training. The training is focused on positive interaction, social interaction for the dog, positive reinforcement, and basic manners and skills for a happy, healthy, polite dog. I have a waist pack for clicker training with treats, thanks to Mary Herrick for finding one for me.
Luke has a new leather collar coming, and I want to be able to discontinue using the prong collar, but that will take some practice, as right now I need it in case Luke was suddenly distracted by a cat running past us or something, and I don't have the arm strength for a dog over 100 pounds pulling me and possibly causing me to fall.
Tonight, it's not too hot, so I will probably cook some pork chops in the skillet with some vegetables. I've increased Luke's dog food, Kirkland's Chicken and Rice formula, and will be adding Taste of the Wild, Salmon formula, because Luke has lost nearly 5 pounds over the summer. I will go back to feeding him twice a day instead of just dinner. Plus I will be adding liver treats for training. I will go to Thrive, health food for dogs store, prior to beginning the new class in September to get new treats. His food and treats costs are expensive, but fortunately, he's not overly food motivated or toy motivated or concerned with chew things, bones or other stuff, and is mostly praise oriented, so I save money on much of those extra things, as he shows little interest in them. I got a ticket today for an expired tag, which I didn't realize I had, so that's another expense that I didn't plan for. It will probably be October before I am financially stable again.
Thanks for reading our blog.
Amy and Luke
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Monday, August 20, 2012
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Today I was going to go to the mall to try and sell raffle tickets for the jewelry donated by Tasha Tonning, http://www.exxoticdesigns.com, for my fund raiser to get the mobility harness I need for my Service Dog.
But, after many positive experiences yesterday, I let one negative experience shake my confidence and cause me to want to stay home today. While we were out last night, a guy, (drunk) made fun of me and my Service Dog. He laughed and interrogated me, saying "What can that DOG do, that a cane wouldn't do?"
When I said he is also a Psychiatric Service Dog, he laughed and shouted to his buddies, "Can you believe this? A psychiatric service dog! RIGHT! She must be joking! What does a dog do as a psychiatric service dog?!"
He wouldn't let up. Even as I decided it was time for me and my Service Dog to leave, he was screaming derrogatory remarks as I tried to exit the building. Who makes fun of someone that is disabled? And why did I let it upset me? He was ignorant, and drunk, and loud. I should have been able to confidently stand up for myself, but I didn't. I felt hurt and embarrassed. Up until that time, I had enjoyed a rare evening out on the town, with lots of friendly people and support for our fund raiser and raffle. Luke had been very good, and I had appreciated Tanya's company, but now I was depressed. I don't know why I let one incident effect my self confidence, but it did. Tomorrow, I will get some housework done, and maybe get back out in the public. Today, I just stayed in and spent my time on the computer, and chatted with friends, and checked my email.
I will not let this one set back tear me down. I will dust myself off and pick myself back up, put a smile back on my face, and go back to my business, confident that MOST people are not jerks, and MOST people understand disability and Service Dogs, or are at least open to learning about them.
Tonight, however, I am digesting the previous night's events and relaxing, giving myself time to heal from this insult. I will be stronger in the future. It never feels good to be made fun of, to be challenged and laughed at, but I will learn from this experience and let it go. Thank you to the people that show compassion and understanding. Thank you to the people that welcome me and my Service Dog in their homes and businesses. Thank you to the people that are participating in my fund raiser, however small. I appreciate the kindness of so many.
If you haven't yet, you can go to my facebook event, even if you aren't on facebook. Leave a comment to let me know you dropped by, and thank you if you choose to make a contribution.
http://www.facebook.com/events/357216397689711/357233481021336/
or you can go directly to the donation site:
http://amyregan.chipin.com/bld-mobility-harness-and-equipment-for-my-service-dog-lucas
No donation is too small. A single dollar means a lot.
Amy and Luke
But, after many positive experiences yesterday, I let one negative experience shake my confidence and cause me to want to stay home today. While we were out last night, a guy, (drunk) made fun of me and my Service Dog. He laughed and interrogated me, saying "What can that DOG do, that a cane wouldn't do?"
When I said he is also a Psychiatric Service Dog, he laughed and shouted to his buddies, "Can you believe this? A psychiatric service dog! RIGHT! She must be joking! What does a dog do as a psychiatric service dog?!"
He wouldn't let up. Even as I decided it was time for me and my Service Dog to leave, he was screaming derrogatory remarks as I tried to exit the building. Who makes fun of someone that is disabled? And why did I let it upset me? He was ignorant, and drunk, and loud. I should have been able to confidently stand up for myself, but I didn't. I felt hurt and embarrassed. Up until that time, I had enjoyed a rare evening out on the town, with lots of friendly people and support for our fund raiser and raffle. Luke had been very good, and I had appreciated Tanya's company, but now I was depressed. I don't know why I let one incident effect my self confidence, but it did. Tomorrow, I will get some housework done, and maybe get back out in the public. Today, I just stayed in and spent my time on the computer, and chatted with friends, and checked my email.
I will not let this one set back tear me down. I will dust myself off and pick myself back up, put a smile back on my face, and go back to my business, confident that MOST people are not jerks, and MOST people understand disability and Service Dogs, or are at least open to learning about them.
Tonight, however, I am digesting the previous night's events and relaxing, giving myself time to heal from this insult. I will be stronger in the future. It never feels good to be made fun of, to be challenged and laughed at, but I will learn from this experience and let it go. Thank you to the people that show compassion and understanding. Thank you to the people that welcome me and my Service Dog in their homes and businesses. Thank you to the people that are participating in my fund raiser, however small. I appreciate the kindness of so many.
If you haven't yet, you can go to my facebook event, even if you aren't on facebook. Leave a comment to let me know you dropped by, and thank you if you choose to make a contribution.
http://www.facebook.com/events/357216397689711/357233481021336/
or you can go directly to the donation site:
http://amyregan.chipin.com/bld-mobility-harness-and-equipment-for-my-service-dog-lucas
No donation is too small. A single dollar means a lot.
Amy and Luke
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Come check it out!
Go to this link :http://www.facebook.com/events/357216397689711/
to see my fund raising event page and the jewelry that is being raffled off. The link for donations is on that page as well. Stop on by, and leave a comment,
My facebook page is http://www.facebook.com/amyregan09
You don't have to be on facebook to come visit!
Amy and Luke
to see my fund raising event page and the jewelry that is being raffled off. The link for donations is on that page as well. Stop on by, and leave a comment,
My facebook page is http://www.facebook.com/amyregan09
You don't have to be on facebook to come visit!
Amy and Luke
First Entry
Welcome to my blog. This is my first entry, and I won't tell my whole story just now. I just want to introduce myself, and my Service Dog, Lucas, aka Luke, my two year old German Shepherd mobility assist/psychiatric Service Dog. I will be talking about my life, the ups and downs, my medications, my disability, my accomplishments, and general information about my life with my Service Dog.
For now, I just wanted to share the good news that with the help of a fund raiser event on Facebook, set up by a friend of mine, and that of an anonymous donor, I will soon have a $500 custom made leather mobility harness for me and Luke, the best on the market today, light weight, high quality, to my exact specs, so that we can begin training Luke to do counterbalance, brace, and general mobility assistance. This will replace my cane, and improve my overall well-being, and increase my freedom and independence. I am very excited about this new piece of equipment. Luke also has a new hand-made, custom leather collar with a nice name plate with my phone number on it. I will also be sewing on patches on the pouch he'll wear with the harness, identifying him as my Service Dog. The harness comes with a handle that has a badge on it that says, mobility assistance dog, please ask before petting. The Har-vest he has been wearing, waiting for him to grow to size and maturity for mobility work, has patches on it that say, Service Dog, DO NOT PET. I really haven't had that much trouble with unwanted petting, although it does happen occasionally. Usually, I just have to deal with dumb questions people ask, like "So what's wrong with you anyway?" or "Why do you have a Service Dog? What does he do?" It is a violation of someone's civil rights to ask them about their disability, even in a public access issue, but apparently many many people are unaware of this law.
Luke and I have recently had the opportunity to appear as guest speaker at a presentation about Service Dogs, the legal definition, the rights and access issues, training, and other information. We appeared with advocate Judith Vos Ferneaux at Western Montana Mental Health Clinic and answered a lot of questions from interested staff, and a couple of clients. I strongly recommend the book, "Healing Companions" by Jane Miller, about ordinary people and their transformation by extraordinary dogs. Especially, if interested in a dog to help with psychiatric disabilities, such as PTSD, Major depression, Anxiety, panic attacks, agoraphobia, and more. In future posts, I will discuss Luke's training and how he helps me with my disabilities, both physical and psychiatric. He spent most of the first two years of his life learning basic manners, obedience, exposure to many different venues, people, and other animals. He is still taking classes and receiving private training regularly. He will get his AKC Canine Good Citizen award, and pass the standard Public Access Test, but he already goes everywhere with me, to classes, Doctor appointments, grocery stores, restaurants, church, shops, fairs, and any event I attend. Recently we went to a town fair and rodeo and street party/dance afterwards. He did fine walking around the booths, and he did fine at the after party, but he was not comfortable at the rodeo. A horse rode right by where we were walking, and he jumped behind my back, startled. Then, the large number of loud children charging towards us as we sat in the bleachers made him a bit nervous. He stayed down, but he crawled under my legs and wanted to hide. He needs more exposure to crowds with unusual sounds like the buzzer, large animals, the smells, the children running around us, and be able to stay in a down without being stressed. I felt bad for him, but he hasn't been exposed to anything like a rodeo, so close and in our face, before.
I took Luke on a bus when he was a puppy, but we need to ride the city bus again for practice. He walked nicely along with me, except for a couple of times when a diesel truck went by, he sort of looked nervous, and tried to change sides, and walk on the other side of me, away from the curb. Again, these are things I need to desensitize him to, so that he can do his job and be my assistance dog. He is just now at the age to begin to learn to be reliably on duty in all venues. He has done fine with going to grocery stores with me, restaurants, remaining quietly under the table, attending class with me, staying down on the little mat I put down for him, and the usual places I've taken him so far. He is doing well for his age. He will improve a lot within this next year as we focus on the tests coming up, introduce mobility work, and master the retrieve. He has already learned to be tuned in to me, and has responded during episodes where I was beginning to experience increased anxiety, my change in heart rate and breathing noticable to him, and he has learned the cue, "Find the car", which means basically to lead me to my "safe place" where I relax and my system returns back to a normal rate. He is very pleased when he finds the car, very focused on getting me OUT of a stressful situation and I praise him profusely when he accomplishes this task. Even my DBT teacher noticed that he was alerting me one day when I was speaking and my anxiety level was rapidly rising, my voice was cracking, my breathing becoming more shallow, etc. Luke got up from his usual spot, and put his head in my lap and whined like he needed to go outside. He didn't need to potty, he was trying to get me OUT of the environment and to my safe place. My teacher acknowledged that Luke was doing his job, and I was able to praise him, and assure him that I could remain in the class for the last few minutes before we left. I petted him and calmed myself down, and he began to relax a little. But, he was definitely happy when class was over and he could lead me to the car. I praised him for doing his job. At home the other night, when I had an emotional break down, he responded by whining and pawing at me, nudging me, trying to get me to play with him, uneasy about my crying, and trying very hard to fix it. It wasn't long until I acknowledged his efforts, praised him, and began to calm down. He watched me very closely that evening, staying right at my feet, intently observing my mood, and calming down once I had composed myself.
Luke has also started sleeping with me, which has helped with the nightmares a LOT. Karl goes to bed early, and I stay up very late. My night medications haven't been working lately so Luke goes into his crate on his own between 10 and 11 at night, and stays there until I go to bed, often 5 or 6 in the morning, and stays in bed with me until I get up, between 10 and 11am. If Karl lets him out of his crate, and sends him to bed with me, I wake up when Luke gets in bed because he sticks his nose in my ear and checks me out before he curls up at the foot of the bed. If I start to have a nightmare, he comes up to me, and lays partly across my chest, and I am able to resume a state of restfulness. He never whines to leave or go outside or play. He seems totally content on just being with me, no matter what I'm doing. In fact, teaching him new tricks is a little difficult because he is not treat or toy motivated, so I have to show him what I want him to do, and then just praise him a lot. He would rather sit somewhere with me than play with toys, chew on bones, or eat. I am going to try clicker training him, when we work on new things like the retrieve (he'll go get things but doesn't always come back and hand them to me, he's not a natural retriever like my last SD was) and I will use click and treat to teach new things, but it may be click and praise more than using food rewards. I want him to pick up his leash if I drop it, and hand it to me, as well as pick up things I drop, like utensils, medicine bottles, mail, trash, etc. This will help me during grocery shopping too, as bending over can often lead to a fall for me right now, due to weakness in knee and hip joints as well as dizziness from some of the medication I take. I ordered a DVD, "Teaching the Retrieve, with Mike Ellis" from Leerberg.com, which is supposed to be really good, and my private trainer has agreed to view it and help me with this new task for Luke.
We start a new class in Clancy, Montana on September 5th, for six Wednesday nights. It is a new training concept for me, level one C.L.A.S.S. focusing on the canine's social interactions and positive reinforcement from me in learning some basic skills. There are three levels, and I hope to get through all of them this year. The requirements are similar to CGC testing available at AKC.org, but more focus on the social bond between handler and dog to acquire new skills and accomplish good manners. I think I'll enjoy this class. It's $90 and an hour drive away, so I plan on getting my money's worth.
Luke was introduced to the sport of "Tracking" and he really liked that, so I hope that once the heat and smoke clears this summer, that the beginner group we were in, will start meeting up again regularly. I don't have the desire or the fortitude to actually compete in the sport of tracking, but I do enjoy following him on a blind track, nose to the ground, making it to the reward, usually an old working glove with meat in it. It is good exercise for me too, as long as he doesn't get too excited and pull ahead and pull me down. He gets really excited tracking. I need to find some place nearby that I can set up some tracks and practice with him, but I haven't really thought of places we can do this yet. All the city parks are a NO DOGS ALLOWED. NO EXCEPTIONS. policy, and I'm not familiar with public lands in the rural areas outside of town. But, I have a couple of friends who have land we can use on occasion, when the weather gets better.
Today, we are doing a photo shoot of Luke and I, so I will be posting new pictures of us on our Facebook page. We need photos for ID card, as well as flyers for the fund raiser for the mobility harness I'm getting. My friend, Tasha, is donating a complete set of jewelry made by the Indians of Peru, for a raffle for fund raising for my event. She has been very helpful in gettting the word out for my fund raising efforts. I will need to take Luke into the Vet to get his hips and elbows x-ray for clearance to do the mobility work. That will cost about $250. His parents were both OFA certified for hips and elbows, and his pedigree shows no health issues in his lineage. I need to weigh him again. Last time he was over 100 pounds, and I'm thinking he may be close to 110 to 120 now. He is on the slim side though. Mostly just tall and muscular, youthful and healthy looking, just a little trim. He doesn't eat that much, doesn't seem obsessed with food like my Labrador Retriever was, and takes his time eating dinner. He does, however, really look forward to me finishing my meal, because I let him lick the plate when I'm done. Probably a bad habit to start, but he enjoys it so much, not so much for the food, the plate is virtually clean when he gets it, he just gets excited to get to lick the flavors off the plate from my meal. I am teaching him the word "Manners" which means do not watch me eat, go lay down and wait politely. Which he does pretty well, but sometimes I have to remind him. Unfortunately, when we are at someone else's house, his eagerness to lick my plate when I am done, is probably an undesirable behavior in front of other people. So I may un train that habit. It's not like he's getting any real food from it. It's just a thing he really looks forward to.
Today we have DBT class (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) from 1 to 2:30, then the photo shoot, some errands, and back to the clinic for my Psychiatric Doctor appointment. We are raising my antidepressant Prozac from two pills a day to three. We just started Prozac, and discontinued Cymbalta, because I was still having major depressive symptoms on Cymbalta, which I have been taking for years. I feel better, although I have been very frustrated that my insurance denied my Provigil, which I take for narcolepsy, excessive daytime sleepiness, because it's so expensive. My Dr wrote a letter a few months ago, and they approved it, and I took it for a couple of months, feeling much better, and then suddenly the insurance denied it again, this time denying it even after a special request from the Nurse at my Doctor's office. So, I'm frustrated. I have to take Seroquel and Ativan to sleep at night, and even then I often don't sleep at all anyway, but too much Seroquel or other medication just causes too much weight gain, and now, I have to deal with excessive sleepiness during the day, which I deal with by taking Ritalin, and drinking lots of Caffeine. It's an endless struggle to sleep at night, and be awake during the day. I have yet to find the right combination of medications and lifestyle practices that work.
In DBT, we are currently learning meditation, and a little Yoga, and I am really loving that. I have honestly learned how to allow myself to let my thoughts travel freely across my mind without focusing on them, concentrating on my breathing and posture, allowing for a deep relaxation, and learning this as a coping skill to use for distraction or self soothing to reach a state of mindfulness, being centered and grounded, gaining a sense of personal power and strength to deal with stress, anxiety, grief, and pain. It is amazing how my body feels like I've taken a shot of Morphine, after meditation or yoga, and it lasts for a while, and I have less pain in my knees and hips and back, as well as improved posture and controlled breathing. I am just now learning, and hope to really improve upon this skill. The trick is to be able to do this during a crisis, before I find myself in a lot of pain, physically or emotionally. But, I love studying under Judith, and am very disappointed that she is taking a new job in a couple of weeks. I will have to find a new Therapist too. I've been with Judith since June of 2007, and we are very productive together now that we've sort of hit our stride. Breaking in a new therapist will be a pain, I'm afraid, but maybe the change will be good for me, meeting someone with new philosophies, ideas, problem solving and coping plans. I have two Therapists that I am meeting with once each in September, and then I'll chose which one I'll see regularly, likely twice a month, if things stay the way they have been lately. As things improve, I may reduce visits to once monthly, but I plan to stay in DBT class, even with a new instructor. I've been in DBT now through several cycles, but I learn more each time I repeat a module, so as long as insurance is paying for it and I'm getting something out of it, then I will continue to attend. On Thursdays, I go to a Self Esteem group. I'm not sure how long I'll stay with this group. We'll have a new teacher for that class in September as well, but the group itself is a little slower, less intellectual, and often just basic common sense practices, so we'll see how long I remain in that class. It never hurts to have good reminders on how to boost your self esteem though, so I have, in fact, gotten something out of that class so far.
Well, this turned out to be much longer than I intended. I will try to blog more often and less lengthy as time goes on.
Thanks for reading my blog, and keep us in your thoughts as we approach these new upcoming challenges.
Amy and Luke
For now, I just wanted to share the good news that with the help of a fund raiser event on Facebook, set up by a friend of mine, and that of an anonymous donor, I will soon have a $500 custom made leather mobility harness for me and Luke, the best on the market today, light weight, high quality, to my exact specs, so that we can begin training Luke to do counterbalance, brace, and general mobility assistance. This will replace my cane, and improve my overall well-being, and increase my freedom and independence. I am very excited about this new piece of equipment. Luke also has a new hand-made, custom leather collar with a nice name plate with my phone number on it. I will also be sewing on patches on the pouch he'll wear with the harness, identifying him as my Service Dog. The harness comes with a handle that has a badge on it that says, mobility assistance dog, please ask before petting. The Har-vest he has been wearing, waiting for him to grow to size and maturity for mobility work, has patches on it that say, Service Dog, DO NOT PET. I really haven't had that much trouble with unwanted petting, although it does happen occasionally. Usually, I just have to deal with dumb questions people ask, like "So what's wrong with you anyway?" or "Why do you have a Service Dog? What does he do?" It is a violation of someone's civil rights to ask them about their disability, even in a public access issue, but apparently many many people are unaware of this law.
Luke and I have recently had the opportunity to appear as guest speaker at a presentation about Service Dogs, the legal definition, the rights and access issues, training, and other information. We appeared with advocate Judith Vos Ferneaux at Western Montana Mental Health Clinic and answered a lot of questions from interested staff, and a couple of clients. I strongly recommend the book, "Healing Companions" by Jane Miller, about ordinary people and their transformation by extraordinary dogs. Especially, if interested in a dog to help with psychiatric disabilities, such as PTSD, Major depression, Anxiety, panic attacks, agoraphobia, and more. In future posts, I will discuss Luke's training and how he helps me with my disabilities, both physical and psychiatric. He spent most of the first two years of his life learning basic manners, obedience, exposure to many different venues, people, and other animals. He is still taking classes and receiving private training regularly. He will get his AKC Canine Good Citizen award, and pass the standard Public Access Test, but he already goes everywhere with me, to classes, Doctor appointments, grocery stores, restaurants, church, shops, fairs, and any event I attend. Recently we went to a town fair and rodeo and street party/dance afterwards. He did fine walking around the booths, and he did fine at the after party, but he was not comfortable at the rodeo. A horse rode right by where we were walking, and he jumped behind my back, startled. Then, the large number of loud children charging towards us as we sat in the bleachers made him a bit nervous. He stayed down, but he crawled under my legs and wanted to hide. He needs more exposure to crowds with unusual sounds like the buzzer, large animals, the smells, the children running around us, and be able to stay in a down without being stressed. I felt bad for him, but he hasn't been exposed to anything like a rodeo, so close and in our face, before.
I took Luke on a bus when he was a puppy, but we need to ride the city bus again for practice. He walked nicely along with me, except for a couple of times when a diesel truck went by, he sort of looked nervous, and tried to change sides, and walk on the other side of me, away from the curb. Again, these are things I need to desensitize him to, so that he can do his job and be my assistance dog. He is just now at the age to begin to learn to be reliably on duty in all venues. He has done fine with going to grocery stores with me, restaurants, remaining quietly under the table, attending class with me, staying down on the little mat I put down for him, and the usual places I've taken him so far. He is doing well for his age. He will improve a lot within this next year as we focus on the tests coming up, introduce mobility work, and master the retrieve. He has already learned to be tuned in to me, and has responded during episodes where I was beginning to experience increased anxiety, my change in heart rate and breathing noticable to him, and he has learned the cue, "Find the car", which means basically to lead me to my "safe place" where I relax and my system returns back to a normal rate. He is very pleased when he finds the car, very focused on getting me OUT of a stressful situation and I praise him profusely when he accomplishes this task. Even my DBT teacher noticed that he was alerting me one day when I was speaking and my anxiety level was rapidly rising, my voice was cracking, my breathing becoming more shallow, etc. Luke got up from his usual spot, and put his head in my lap and whined like he needed to go outside. He didn't need to potty, he was trying to get me OUT of the environment and to my safe place. My teacher acknowledged that Luke was doing his job, and I was able to praise him, and assure him that I could remain in the class for the last few minutes before we left. I petted him and calmed myself down, and he began to relax a little. But, he was definitely happy when class was over and he could lead me to the car. I praised him for doing his job. At home the other night, when I had an emotional break down, he responded by whining and pawing at me, nudging me, trying to get me to play with him, uneasy about my crying, and trying very hard to fix it. It wasn't long until I acknowledged his efforts, praised him, and began to calm down. He watched me very closely that evening, staying right at my feet, intently observing my mood, and calming down once I had composed myself.
Luke has also started sleeping with me, which has helped with the nightmares a LOT. Karl goes to bed early, and I stay up very late. My night medications haven't been working lately so Luke goes into his crate on his own between 10 and 11 at night, and stays there until I go to bed, often 5 or 6 in the morning, and stays in bed with me until I get up, between 10 and 11am. If Karl lets him out of his crate, and sends him to bed with me, I wake up when Luke gets in bed because he sticks his nose in my ear and checks me out before he curls up at the foot of the bed. If I start to have a nightmare, he comes up to me, and lays partly across my chest, and I am able to resume a state of restfulness. He never whines to leave or go outside or play. He seems totally content on just being with me, no matter what I'm doing. In fact, teaching him new tricks is a little difficult because he is not treat or toy motivated, so I have to show him what I want him to do, and then just praise him a lot. He would rather sit somewhere with me than play with toys, chew on bones, or eat. I am going to try clicker training him, when we work on new things like the retrieve (he'll go get things but doesn't always come back and hand them to me, he's not a natural retriever like my last SD was) and I will use click and treat to teach new things, but it may be click and praise more than using food rewards. I want him to pick up his leash if I drop it, and hand it to me, as well as pick up things I drop, like utensils, medicine bottles, mail, trash, etc. This will help me during grocery shopping too, as bending over can often lead to a fall for me right now, due to weakness in knee and hip joints as well as dizziness from some of the medication I take. I ordered a DVD, "Teaching the Retrieve, with Mike Ellis" from Leerberg.com, which is supposed to be really good, and my private trainer has agreed to view it and help me with this new task for Luke.
We start a new class in Clancy, Montana on September 5th, for six Wednesday nights. It is a new training concept for me, level one C.L.A.S.S. focusing on the canine's social interactions and positive reinforcement from me in learning some basic skills. There are three levels, and I hope to get through all of them this year. The requirements are similar to CGC testing available at AKC.org, but more focus on the social bond between handler and dog to acquire new skills and accomplish good manners. I think I'll enjoy this class. It's $90 and an hour drive away, so I plan on getting my money's worth.
Luke was introduced to the sport of "Tracking" and he really liked that, so I hope that once the heat and smoke clears this summer, that the beginner group we were in, will start meeting up again regularly. I don't have the desire or the fortitude to actually compete in the sport of tracking, but I do enjoy following him on a blind track, nose to the ground, making it to the reward, usually an old working glove with meat in it. It is good exercise for me too, as long as he doesn't get too excited and pull ahead and pull me down. He gets really excited tracking. I need to find some place nearby that I can set up some tracks and practice with him, but I haven't really thought of places we can do this yet. All the city parks are a NO DOGS ALLOWED. NO EXCEPTIONS. policy, and I'm not familiar with public lands in the rural areas outside of town. But, I have a couple of friends who have land we can use on occasion, when the weather gets better.
Today, we are doing a photo shoot of Luke and I, so I will be posting new pictures of us on our Facebook page. We need photos for ID card, as well as flyers for the fund raiser for the mobility harness I'm getting. My friend, Tasha, is donating a complete set of jewelry made by the Indians of Peru, for a raffle for fund raising for my event. She has been very helpful in gettting the word out for my fund raising efforts. I will need to take Luke into the Vet to get his hips and elbows x-ray for clearance to do the mobility work. That will cost about $250. His parents were both OFA certified for hips and elbows, and his pedigree shows no health issues in his lineage. I need to weigh him again. Last time he was over 100 pounds, and I'm thinking he may be close to 110 to 120 now. He is on the slim side though. Mostly just tall and muscular, youthful and healthy looking, just a little trim. He doesn't eat that much, doesn't seem obsessed with food like my Labrador Retriever was, and takes his time eating dinner. He does, however, really look forward to me finishing my meal, because I let him lick the plate when I'm done. Probably a bad habit to start, but he enjoys it so much, not so much for the food, the plate is virtually clean when he gets it, he just gets excited to get to lick the flavors off the plate from my meal. I am teaching him the word "Manners" which means do not watch me eat, go lay down and wait politely. Which he does pretty well, but sometimes I have to remind him. Unfortunately, when we are at someone else's house, his eagerness to lick my plate when I am done, is probably an undesirable behavior in front of other people. So I may un train that habit. It's not like he's getting any real food from it. It's just a thing he really looks forward to.
Today we have DBT class (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) from 1 to 2:30, then the photo shoot, some errands, and back to the clinic for my Psychiatric Doctor appointment. We are raising my antidepressant Prozac from two pills a day to three. We just started Prozac, and discontinued Cymbalta, because I was still having major depressive symptoms on Cymbalta, which I have been taking for years. I feel better, although I have been very frustrated that my insurance denied my Provigil, which I take for narcolepsy, excessive daytime sleepiness, because it's so expensive. My Dr wrote a letter a few months ago, and they approved it, and I took it for a couple of months, feeling much better, and then suddenly the insurance denied it again, this time denying it even after a special request from the Nurse at my Doctor's office. So, I'm frustrated. I have to take Seroquel and Ativan to sleep at night, and even then I often don't sleep at all anyway, but too much Seroquel or other medication just causes too much weight gain, and now, I have to deal with excessive sleepiness during the day, which I deal with by taking Ritalin, and drinking lots of Caffeine. It's an endless struggle to sleep at night, and be awake during the day. I have yet to find the right combination of medications and lifestyle practices that work.
In DBT, we are currently learning meditation, and a little Yoga, and I am really loving that. I have honestly learned how to allow myself to let my thoughts travel freely across my mind without focusing on them, concentrating on my breathing and posture, allowing for a deep relaxation, and learning this as a coping skill to use for distraction or self soothing to reach a state of mindfulness, being centered and grounded, gaining a sense of personal power and strength to deal with stress, anxiety, grief, and pain. It is amazing how my body feels like I've taken a shot of Morphine, after meditation or yoga, and it lasts for a while, and I have less pain in my knees and hips and back, as well as improved posture and controlled breathing. I am just now learning, and hope to really improve upon this skill. The trick is to be able to do this during a crisis, before I find myself in a lot of pain, physically or emotionally. But, I love studying under Judith, and am very disappointed that she is taking a new job in a couple of weeks. I will have to find a new Therapist too. I've been with Judith since June of 2007, and we are very productive together now that we've sort of hit our stride. Breaking in a new therapist will be a pain, I'm afraid, but maybe the change will be good for me, meeting someone with new philosophies, ideas, problem solving and coping plans. I have two Therapists that I am meeting with once each in September, and then I'll chose which one I'll see regularly, likely twice a month, if things stay the way they have been lately. As things improve, I may reduce visits to once monthly, but I plan to stay in DBT class, even with a new instructor. I've been in DBT now through several cycles, but I learn more each time I repeat a module, so as long as insurance is paying for it and I'm getting something out of it, then I will continue to attend. On Thursdays, I go to a Self Esteem group. I'm not sure how long I'll stay with this group. We'll have a new teacher for that class in September as well, but the group itself is a little slower, less intellectual, and often just basic common sense practices, so we'll see how long I remain in that class. It never hurts to have good reminders on how to boost your self esteem though, so I have, in fact, gotten something out of that class so far.
Well, this turned out to be much longer than I intended. I will try to blog more often and less lengthy as time goes on.
Thanks for reading my blog, and keep us in your thoughts as we approach these new upcoming challenges.
Amy and Luke
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